"Could you not pick someone a bit more local?"

This was the rather tongue in cheek question my favourite cousin put to me, the last time she came to visit...

Made me think.

I was not raised in England... (I know. Shame on me) I met my now former husband whilst he was holidaying in Rio. I was at uni. My family background is a story for another time...
Anyway, I frequented the *local* pub, where all the English ex-pats and those on holiday met. It was a world cup year and I was there ever day after uni to meet my friends and watch the games.

I met him there. We fell in love. No nookie or any funny businees. I am a good girl (polishes halo).

He left for England after two weeks.

We sent letters (yeah, I am that old). We called.

I left bound for Blighty to spend holidays with him. We married. I never went back. None of it was planned. It just happened. I was 21. The year was 1986.

We were married for 9 years, or if you like, until he became abusive and I decided I'd believed the *I will never do it again* once too many times.

In those 9 years we had our son. The highlight of our marriage.

He was a good dad even if not such a shinning husband. I cannot fault him as a father, to be fair.

Anyway, years passed. I had one serious relationship - 8 years. Did not want to get married or live together. It was just beyond my ability at that point.

After another brief but traumatic realtionship after that, I decided to give up. Completely. I just wanted to build up my business and be happy. Alone.

Then two years ago it all changed.

I met someone online. Not on a dating site, but a professional forum. All a bit complicated, as he is in the US and I am here (seeing a pattern yet?).
He came over in Feb 2008 and again last August and stayed for 6 months. He just left to go back to the US.

Right now, all is very strange and I do not really want to go into it because it is too painful, and I can't even be sure if I have any reason to be feeling this way, but I am.

However, it made me think of my cousin's question, when she found out my boyfriend is in the US...

I know you cannot choose who you fall for. But I had VOWED never to immigrate again. Once was enough of a trauma.... And here I am. Prepared (or used to be) to leave my country and home to move to the US, if that is what it takes.

My question here is: WHAT THE HELL AM I THNKING AND WY COULD I NOT HAVE FALLEN FOR A NICE, LOCAL BOY?

Are there any, for a start?

Guess I am thinking all this and feeling this way because of my current state of mind.

God. What a right royal mess I am at the moment.

Thanks for listening.

Andie.